22 November 2011

Long Overdue Letter

Dear Mom;
As you know I've been suffering a severe case of writer's block. It's lasted about two years and counting. I don't know that there is a right or wrong way to do this...so I'm just going to trudge ahead.
It's been threatening to rain all day today and oddly enough when I started to write the rain started to fall. I can see the lightening streaks out of the corner of my eye and Komando is about to shake is fur off.
Komando. You'd love him. He's a tiny little chihuahua with a big attitude. He's playful, loving, and patient. His vet swears Komando doesn't realize he is a chihuahua because he doesn't have the 'shaking' trait...that is...except for during spells of thunder and lightening.
Growing up I always felt close to you and just knew you were the best mom in the world. I can remember me telling you I wanted to be a good mom just like you and you'd chuckle a bit, turn red, and say thank you.
I didn't understand a lot of things that I should have understood. I also knew more things than I should have known at a much too young age. I realized your shortcomings long ago and made peace with it. You did the best you could with the limited support you had.
So many things were left said and unsaid. But one thing I know for sure...without a doubt. You're with me now. Early in the morning before the sun wakes up...while I'm in prayer...I can feel you and Memo around me. Papaw as well. I think about the humorous things Memo must be telling Papaw. I look forward to the day I can be a part of the circle again.
I have to tell you. I'm jealous. You're home. You're free. You're without pain and in Paradise. You get to walk and talk with Jesus...and hug our Holy Father God.
I think about that.
And I think about it.
It comforts me in an odd sort of way. You know everything...things I can't even conceive of right now...and I'm jealous! One day it will be my time, and I'm counting on you to escort me to Paradise.
Mom. I love you so very much. I'll always love you and always have. Your time on earth was cut short. At least, that's how I feel. But who am I to question God's plans?
Your great-grandsons are beautiful. Your grand-daughters are beautiful. I look at my youngest daughter and see you. You see, she looks just like me, and I look just like you. It's strange how this 'circle of life' thing works. I wonder about my other kin people in heaven...do all the women look alike? That would be hilarious.
And I keep thinking about how you would react if I would get to speak to you one more time...'Riccie; I went in for heart surgery and it didn't turn out too well'...LOL! So you. It's something you'd say.
I spoke with someone who had the pleasure of working with you over the weekend. He had wonderful stories to share about you. He had the utmost respect for you...and over and over talked about what a big heart you had. But I already knew that. You'd give the shirt off your back to a stranger...and that big heart of yours got yourself in trouble many times. (Remember when you got pinched on the butt in California? Or when the Mariachi band followed you at Knott's Berry Farm? They always thought we were Hispanic...but no. It's the French in us.) You gave until it hurt...gave everything even when it would short yourself.
I wanted to tell you, mom. As if you didn't know. The chain is broken. We broke it. I say we because I couldn't have done it without your example. Your patience, your kindness, your teaching about helping others less fortunate, well...they stuck.
You were given the raw end of the deal over and over again in life. But you kept on. You remained steadfast and kept the bitterness to a minimum.
I am and always will be your loving daughter, Mom. I will say goodbye for now, but I feel good about doing so because I know I will see you again in Paradise. And we will be able to go over the humorous stuff that's happened to me since you left. 
Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. This year you are at the table of the Lord. What wondrous foods to sample! 
I miss you. I love you. I love you so very much.
Love Always,
Riccie

26 October 2011

Road Rash

I just witnessed a motorcycle accident.
I am nauseated to the Nth degree.
I was on Ambassador, of course. He wasn't using his best driving skills...he almost got clocked by the vehicle next to me in the left lane. I heard a loud screech and what sounded like his motor going into overdrive. I looked around and saw him driving up through the median. He made it a few vehicles in front of me. Queue the traffic light. After takeoff from that, within 2 blocks, he met the back end of someones truck. Two vehicles in front of me. I saw him bouncing up and down on the pavement...and almost threw up. I am now home. I can't get that picture out of my head.
I sent prayers up immediately.
People. If you drive a bike...please. PLEASE driving with sense. Spare the rest of us an ugly memory. PLEASE!

02 October 2011

Thought-Provoking

My oldest daughter tells me someone gave a copy of this to her in high school and she proceeded to read it out loud without a stumble. I've just come across this...and am fascinated by it.
What do you think? (By the way. In case you are wondering- I read it at first glance without the slightest problem. Further proof of the twisted chemistry in my brain. LOL)

30 September 2011

Be So Very Careful

I have to keep reminding myself:
Be careful of what I wish for. I may just indeed get it.
Scary?
A bit.
No.
A LOT!
I feel: hopeful, joyful, apprehensive, thoughtful, curious...

12 September 2011

Starsky and Hutch

While channel surfing I bumped into 'RTV'. Lots of tv shows from the 70's. My second favorite childhood tv show, Starsky and Hutch, comes on every night at 9pm. I've actually been tuning in over the past two weeks. 
During it's initial run, Starsky and Hutch would play at 9pm, which also happened to be my bedtime. Mom would not give an inch although I tried everything I could to watch my guys. The show, which stayed in the top ten during it's initial four year run, is a hoot to watch but painfully slow for my Law & Order: Criminal Intent palate.  Bobby Goren has forever made his mark on my soul.
Was life really simpler back then?
I take note of the desks; none of which have a laptop or desktop. Only the occasional quaint typewriter (my kids don't even know what that is).  All of this instant connectivity...smartphones, netbooks, tablets, laptops, etc., etc. Is THAT the difference?

God Bless all the families affected by the attacks on September 11, 2001.  Yesterday was a really tough day to get through. But we have prevailed.

28 January 2011

What in Tarnation

I know.
I know.
Where the Hell has Riccie been?
Ah. Around the world and back again? LOL
Considering getting back to my writing roots. As usual, I've been under the weather for the past week. I write 'as usual' because these are the times I can think on a slower pace and consider getting back to my writing. I actually had something percolating but ended up taking the scenic route on the way to writing...and found myself in an interesting situation. My attention was totally captivated...and then, as usual, reality barged it's way back into my world and here I am again.
'Here I go again on my own...'
Who sang that?
Momentary blip there. I'm back. Gonna be locked and loaded tomorrow. I have to get back to making a living.  It pays the bills and gives me spending money.
What an interesting news day today is. The protests in Egypt...the standoff in Maryland...the Dallas Cowboys' arena? Wow.
What's going on in Egypt has my utmost attention. No, I'm not going to comment because I'm not fully informed...
I will definitely be back.

26 January 2011

Frakin' Sinuses

My head feels as if it is going to implode...or explode...at any moment. Frakin' sinuses. This bout is costing me money. I wonder if one can live without their sinuses. Maybe I should check into a sinusectomy. Calling Dr. House?
Yeah, I know. I've been away for a long time. Shooting the breeze with someone reminded me I still have this blog. So many changes have happened. So much time has gone by. I sit in awe at where I was (just yesterday in my mind...but so much more than that has passed.)
Back to why I'm here. I'm sick, of course. When do I ever have time to play around on the 'cloud' anymore?
Yeah. I'm gone for a while and even the internet has a new name.
'Cloud'.
I liked 'internet' better. But who am I to try to stop progress?
Have I gotten past my writer's block? I don't know. Haven't kicked out another story yet, but I've got a few trying to bubble up. Owning my own business is teaching me the fine art of time management. Me. Who used to be such a hard-ass about every tiny detail. Me. Who needs to re-learn ten minutes means ten minutes and not thirty. I'm a strict boss on myself. And when I fail, I go into a tailspin.
It's hard to get myself out when I do. The only ones there anymore to remind me of the money I need to make are my bills. And even those are getting fewer.
HA! Try to run sinusectomy through your spellcheck and see what you get. Funny! Me and my made up words.
Yeah. I've got lots more words I'd like to jot down. My throbbing head won't co-operate right now.  It's nice to put something down, though. I'm bookmarking my own blog to my new laptop now...

Living Life

I really need to update this more often.
Right now I'm enjoying life, preparing to move to Texas, and working hard when I'm not sick.
How's that for a change?